Mastering Challenging Conversations as a Leader

Challenging conversations and leading a team are common topics discussed in leadership training programmes. Building and managing a team comes with its challenges, as we all know. These challenges often revolve around engagement, performance issues, or impending changes.

The reality is, when you manage a team, there will be times when you need to engage in difficult conversations. These can cover a range of topics, including:

• Addressing poor performance (team and individual)
• Managing team conflict
• Handling unhappy clients
• Dealing with external stakeholders

The good news is that there are multiple strategies for effectively managing these situations, which are outlined below.

1. Be Professional

While frustration or anger may arise in challenging situations, it’s important to stay composed. Rather than focusing on individuals, concentrate on processes that might need adjustment. What can be improved to prevent the issue from recurring? Often, challenges stem from miscommunication rather than intent.

Maintaining professionalism, sticking to facts, and avoiding emotional reactions is crucial for any leader.

2. Think Win-Win, Not “I’m Right”

Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People reminds us to think win-win and start with the end in mind. In many cases, miscommunication is the root cause of problems, further exacerbated by insufficient leadership or coaching.

Avoid approaching conversations with a mindset of being "right." Instead, seek to understand the facts and work towards a solution. This approach not only fosters collaboration but also drives improved performance.

3. Embrace the Mantra: We Are All Different

Over time, a key leadership lesson is understanding that people approach situations with positive intentions, even when their behaviour may suggest otherwise. People are working with the resources they have available, and their actions are often shaped by their own perspectives.

Recognising that everyone operates from different viewpoints can transform challenging conversations. Approach these situations with empathy, and focus on understanding individual perspectives before making any judgements.

4. Seek First to Understand – Start with the Facts

It’s easy to jump to conclusions based on our own viewpoints or what we’ve heard from others. However, Covey's advice to "seek first to understand" remains a valuable principle. Asking questions and gathering facts is essential before making any decisions.

By taking the time to understand the situation fully, you ensure your response is based on reality, not assumptions.

5. Take a Helicopter View

Step back and assess the situation from a broader perspective. The principle of cause and effect suggests that for every effect, there is a preceding cause. If dealing with an underperforming team member, consider:

• Is the issue skills-based or motivational?
• How engaged is the person?
• Have they been provided with adequate support?

Looking at the situation from a higher level will help you gain a deeper understanding of the underlying issues.

6. Develop Your Coaching Skills

Leadership is an ongoing learning journey, and coaching is a vital skill for developing both yourself and your team. While many managers have been trained in basic coaching techniques, creating meaningful change often requires more advanced skills.

Prioritising the development of these abilities will not only help you grow as a leader but will also enable your team to reach new levels of success.

By applying these strategies, you’ll be better prepared to handle the inevitable challenges that come with managing a team. Challenging conversations are a natural part of leadership, but when approached correctly, they can lead to stronger team dynamics, growth, and enhanced performance.

Many thanks,

Alex & The Excel Team

P.S. If you would like to discuss any of your other learning & development challenges, book in your discovery call.

About Excel Communications

Excel Communications is a learning and development consultancy based near London in the U.K. For more than 30 years; we have been collaborating with clients across the globe.  

Partnering with Excel empowers you to evolve your people and business by fuelling a love for learning.   

We work with you to create unforgettably, customised learning experiences to achieve your vision of success and growth, with tangible results.   

View our case studies here.