In a previous article, we explored why many managers avoid giving feedback. For some, offering feedback becomes stressful, leading them to delay or avoid it altogether – especially when that feedback could help an individual improve their performance.
One of the main reasons managers hesitate to give ‘constructive’ or, as we prefer to call it at Excel Communications, ‘developmental’ feedback is the uncertainty around how employees might react. The truth is, there are several common reactions to developmental feedback, and not all of them are negative – some may even surprise you by being positive!
In this article, we’ll examine the typical responses to developmental feedback and how you, as a manager, can handle them effectively.
Denial occurs when employees reject the notion that they behaved in the way described or deny that the incident even took place. They may acknowledge the event but downplay their role or the impact of their actions.
At its most extreme, denial can lead to the employee questioning the facts presented – or even the manager’s credibility.
When people receive feedback on their behaviour, emotional responses are common. Emotions can range from tears to shock, and even anger. Some individuals may respond impulsively with anger, later regretting their words. Others might shed a few tears but quickly regain composure.
In some cases, a team member might break down completely – a sign that external stressors or personal issues are affecting their reaction. It’s important to be mindful of these underlying issues, which may not be directly related to the feedback itself.
Justification happens when the individual believes their actions were justified as the only reasonable response. They may hold a firm belief that their approach was appropriate, even if it goes against company guidelines.
Not all feedback results in defensiveness or emotional responses. In fact, many employees accept feedback readily. A study found that 74% of employees who received developmental feedback were already aware of the issue. They may not have understood the full impact of their actions or may have been unsure about how to improve, but they were open to change.
Some employees actively seek feedback, readily accepting comments and suggestions for improvement. These individuals are often quick to implement changes and may see results rapidly. Their enthusiasm for development can lead them to continuously ask for more feedback, creating a positive feedback loop.
Stanford Professor Carol Dweck’s research on mindsets offers insight into why some employees handle feedback well while others struggle. She identifies two main mindsets:
Fixed Mindset: Individuals with a fixed mindset believe their abilities are innate and unchangeable. They see feedback as a reflection of their character, which can lead to defensiveness.
Growth Mindset: Those with a growth mindset view their abilities as malleable and improvable. They see feedback as an opportunity to grow and enhance their skills.
Understanding these mindsets can help you anticipate how your team members may respond to feedback and tailor your approach accordingly. For more insights, Professor Dweck’s book on mindsets is an excellent resource.
When faced with denial, provide specific examples to support your feedback. If the employee continues to resist, calmly present additional instances. Most individuals will eventually recognise the validity of your points. Once this happens, shift the conversation to what can be done differently in the future.
If the employee remains resistant, suggest ending the conversation and scheduling a follow-up meeting. This gives them time to reflect. When you reconvene, clearly outline the consequences of not changing their behaviour.
If an employee becomes emotional, give them a break to collect themselves. When you resume the conversation, acknowledge their emotions and ask for their perspective. Listening carefully can help defuse the situation.
Restate your examples, and consider using a third-party perspective technique. Ask the employee to imagine they were observing the situation as an outsider and then share what they might think. This often provides new insights and helps move the conversation toward solutions.
To address justification, remind the employee of the company’s established processes, policies, and expectations. If they are deviating from these standards, explain why the company’s approach is important and how following it will lead to better outcomes.
Use company documentation – such as handbooks, job descriptions, or performance guidelines – to reinforce your points. These written resources can be powerful tools for aligning expectations.
When an employee accepts feedback, use either a directive or coaching approach depending on the individual’s experience and the situation at hand. Express confidence in their ability to improve and be sure to follow up regularly, acknowledging their progress.
While many managers find giving feedback to be a challenge, it’s essential to remember that effective feedback is a key part of leadership. By modelling openness to your own areas for improvement and embracing feedback yourself, you can set a powerful example for your team.
By understanding how different employees respond to feedback, you can tailor your approach and ensure that your team remains engaged, motivated, and on a path of continuous improvement.
Many thanks,
Alex & The Excel Team
P.S. If you would like to discuss any of your other learning & development challenges, book in your discovery call.
About Excel Communications
Excel Communications is a learning and development consultancy based near London in the U.K. For more than 30 years; we have been collaborating with clients across the globe.
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